It starsMichael Fassbender,Charlotte Gainsbourg,Rebecca Ferguson, andJ.K. Simmons. It has names likeChloë SevignyandVal Kilmerin its supporting cast. It is directed byTomas Alfredson, the man that brought us modern classics such asTinker, Tailor, Soldier, SpyandLet the Right One In.It is based on a bestselling novel, one that has more than 55 million copies sold worldwide,according to one of its own covers. It has the man we have come to associate with absolute cinema,Martin Scorsese, as one of its executive producers.Itwas even meant to be directed by Scorsese at some point in pre-production. This looks like a movie that is set to not only become a success, but also a cookie-cutter for awards and critical praise, right? Then, we’ve got to askwhat the hell went wrong with 2017’sThe Snowman?
Based on the 2007 book of the same name by Norwegian writerJo Nesbø, the seventh entry in a series of 14 titles centering on detective Harry Hole (Fassbender), the movie was a complete flop, grossing only about $43 million worldwide to a $35 million budget,according to Box Office Mojo. With an abysmal7% critics' score on Rotten Tomatoes,it is the most widely bashed movie to have Scorsese in its credits. Its audience score is not that much better, with only 19% of viewers considering it something resembling good. Speaking for ourselves, back in the day, Collidercalled it"the cinematic equivalent of hypothermia,“and, more recently, we ranked it as one of the10 worst crime movies of all time. It’s pretty safe to say that there isn’t much love out there forThe Snowman. But, again, why exactly is that?
‘The Snowman’ Promises a Pretty Interesting Plot
The premise ofThe Snowmanis simple, yet interesting enough.An alcoholic detective bored with his work receives a new breath of life as he teams up with a rookie to investigate a serial killertargeting mothers with broken marriages, taking their lives and leaving merely a sad, creepy snowman in their place. In parallel to that, said detective also has to deal with his own broken relationship with the mother of a boy he has come to consider a son. The trailer promises a game of cat and mouse, with the killer sending our protagonist numerous letters challenging the police to catch him, Zodiac-style. It’s all very fine and dandy, at least until you watch the movie and realize that it is not that at all.
For starters, the catch-me-if-can scenario? Yeah, it actually doesn’t exist. In the movie, Harry Hole receives only one letter from the killer, and he never really does anything with it. His substance abuse is similarly pointless, serving only as a tidbit of information surrounding a character we don’t care about. The serial killer comes off not as a criminal mastermind, but as someone who is eluding the police out of the sheer incompetence of Oslo’s finest, whileHole, made worse by Fassbender’s jaw-droppingly bad performance, feels like a mere outline of a characterthat someone thought could be interesting, but didn’t bother to develop further.
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Nail-biting! … but only out of boredom.
However, none of that is what seals the deal when it comes to crowningThe Snowmanthe very worst crime movie out there. The real problem is that the film is entirely disjointed. To properly explain what that means, we should perhaps start by saying thatAlfredson himself has disowned the movie, speaking many times about how he wasn’t even able to shoot the whole script.Production was so rushed that about 15% of the material wasn’t even filmed, which honestly shows a blatant disregard for both Nesbø and the screenwriters' work. “Our shoot time in Norway was way too short. We didn’t get the whole story with us and when we started cutting we discovered that a lot was missing,”the director told the Norwegian Broadcasting Corporation, NRK. ““It’s like when you’re making a big jigsaw puzzle and a few pieces are missing so you don’t see the whole picture.”
‘The Snowman’ Was Supposed to Be Saved in the Editing Room, But It Wasn’t
As a result, when it came time to edit the film, Alfredson,Claire Simpson, andThelma Schoonmaker(you know, who constantly works with Scorsese, including inThe DepartedandKillers of the Flower Moon) had to do what they could with the material they had. Except that they couldn’t exactly do much. Even in the final cut,entire scenes don’t make any sense, such as the one in which Hole opens a garage door to find his girlfriend and her son sitting on a living room floor,one of the many singled out by video essayist Dan Olsonin his superb take on the film’s editing.
And since there was so much dialogue missing, many conversations had to be recorded and synced on post. The ADR feels particularly uncanny, though, in a series of scenes that did manage to be shot with dialogue.Val Kilmer, who plays a past detective who also tried his luck at investigating the snowman crimes,was recovering from throat cancer at the time of the shooting, and therefore had a swallowed tongue that prevented him from speaking clearly. This led to his lines being dubbed, which is very noticeable and very uncomfortable for both eyes and ears.
In the end,The Snowmanwas a combo of unforeseen circumstances, disregard for the work of writers all across the board — actually, disregard for the work of the director, as well — and very, very poor acting, at least from its star. While the movie might not have served as a good thriller for lovers of the genre, it sure serves as a cautionary tale. Its lesson?A stellar cast and crew can only take you so far.
The Snowmanis available to stream on Netflix in the U.S.
The Snowman
