Don’t be mistaken: just because something qualifies as aromancemovie doesn’t mean it’ll also equal a great date movie. Sure, more often than not a film that deals with themes of love and relationships will lend itself well to a date setting, but it’s no guarantee. After all, romance movies sometimes explore the messier sides of love, and not all are light-hearted romantic comedies that end with the main couple together.
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The following are all compelling movies in their own right and feature romance as either a primary or secondary genre. However, they’re all a good deal darker than your average movie about romance, or feature uncomfortable subject matter and even some shocking moments. As such, they’re not exactly accessible romance movies, and might not be ideal to watch with a loved one.
1’The Lobster' (2015)
An offbeat dystopian science-fiction movie that tells a story about the struggle to find someone to love in a darkly humorous way,The Lobsteris undoubtedly unique. It’s mostly set in a strange hotel where various single people are forced to stay at for up to 45 days. If they don’t find a romantic partner within that time, they’re turned into an animal of their choice and banished into a nearby forest.
Somehow, that’s only the set-up, and things only get weirder as the movie goes along. It’s not just surrealism and uncomfortable humor, asThe Lobsterdoes reveal itself to have some heart, in its own strange way… but for the most part, it’s awkward and cynical comedy at its finest. It might be a great movie about romance, but most people wouldn’t likely consider it romantic.
2’Scenes from a Marriage' (1974)
Undoubtedlyone ofIngmar Bergman’sbest films,Scenes from a Marriagehas an intimate scope and a small cast, but feels like an epic when it comes to its runtime and the wide range of human emotions it covers. It covers the grueling process of a married couple going through a divorce, with most of the film’s sequences being long scenes that simply show the two lead actors -Liv UllmannandErland Josephson- arguing.
Despite the film’s simplicity and somewhat repetitive scenes, it never becomes boring, thanks mostly to the quality of the writing and the acting. It’s more or less an anti-romance, focusing on the dissolution of a relationship rather than the birth of a new one, which is what most (more positive) romance movies instead tend to focus on.
3’Bones and All' (2022)
Bones and Allis several things at once: a romance, a road trip movie, a coming-of-age story, and a horror film about cannibalism. It’s impressively directed by the always reliableLuca Guadagnino, and bolstered by its two main stars:Timothée ChalametandTaylor Russell.Mark Rylancealso impresses in an incredibly creepy supporting role, making the most of every second of screentime he has.
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To be honest,Bones and Allwouldn’t be the worst date movie in the world if both parties were fans of horror movies, and didn’t mind their romance movies having a few splashes of gory violence here and there. But if it’s a date movie early on in a relationship, before you’ve sussed out the other person’s movie tastes?Bones and Allis probably best avoided.
4’The Worst Person in the World' (2021)
WhileThe Worst Person in the Worldstarts as a romantic comedyabout a young woman having a quarter-life crisis, it slowly transforms into something more serious (and heartbreaking) as it goes on. Even though most will likely find it to be a compelling film, it’s likely to resonate the greatest with people who find themselves in the same position as its protagonist, Julie: approaching 30 and worried about not having much to show for it.
It’s a painfully honest look at dating as a young person in the modern age, and some of the truths contained therein may well be awkward to watch in a date setting. It absolutely is a movie that should be watched, but might be ideally watched without the company of someone you’re dating, especially if it’s a recently commenced relationship.
5’Love Exposure' (2008)
From its four-hour runtime to its genre-hopping nature and its ambitious - and crazy - storyline,Love Exposureis undeniably an excessive film. Thankfully, it’s also a very good one, telling an engaging story about romance, religion, perversion, and the Yakuza, ultimately living up to its title by being a love story.
It is, however, a reasonably twisted love story, and can be challenging to watch because of how extreme it gets and how long it is. It might be one of the most daring romance films of the 21st century so far, and overall unlike anything else out there, but that doesn’t mean it necessarily translates to an ideal romance movie to watch on a date.
6’Blue Valentine' (2010)
Blue Valentinecenters on a relationship but feels far more like a gritty drama than a traditional romance movie. While it spends time on the positive early days of the relationship at its center, a good deal of the film ends up focusing on the breakdown of the main characters' marriage, enough to labelBlue Valentinea seminal “break-up movie.”
It feels unrelentingly grim at times, and thanks to the strength of the central performances byRyan GoslingandMichelle Williams, it also feels painfully real, too. It’s a great movie, and will likely have an impact on all those who watch it… it’s just better not to risk ruining your own relationship by watching something so raw and dark with a date.
7’Before Midnight' (2013)
Of the three movies in theBefore Trilogy, the first two entries -Before Sunrise(1995) andBefore Sunset(2004) - might actually make decent date movies. The first film is especially romantic, given it focuses on the trilogy’s main characters - Jesse and Celine - meeting in their twenties, and they’re still relatively youthful and somewhat hopeful in its sequel, filmed and set nine years later.
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However, the third film,Before Midnight, sees things getting a little more real. There are romantic moments between the two found in the film, and it’s clear they still have a love for each other in their 40s. However, the conversational scenes here sometimes give way to extended arguments, meaning this very honest look at growing older while in a long-term relationship might not be an ideal date movie.
8’Modern Romance' (1981)
Seeing as it’s over four decades old, the modern romance inModern Romanceisn’t so modern anymore. That being said, it’s still a compellingly cynical romantic comedy, with a remarkably unlikeable protagonist at its center: a man named Robert Cole, who wants to break up with his girlfriend but can’t seem to commit either way, leading to plenty of awkward hilarity mixed in with genuine drama.
Few romantic comedies get this dark without dipping their toes into some kind of other genres (like crime or horror), makingModern Romancea good example of an intentional cringe comedy. It pulls no punches in showing an ugly side to dating and relationships, and therefore is likely better watched alone than with a loved one.
9’Vertigo' (1958)
Alfred Hitchcockmade remarkably few dudsin his long filmmaking career, and his 1958 filmVertigois often regarded as one of his very best. It follows a retired detective who agrees to help out a friend by investigating his wife. Complications inevitably then arise when the detective ends up developing feelings for his friend’s wife, who’s as beautiful as she is mysterious.
Desire is a central theme inVertigomore so than love, and it takes a very dark look at what makes one person attracted to another, and how that attraction can alter a person’s behavior. It’s a great film, but ultimately a little too dark and psychologically intense to be a safe pick for a date movie.
10’Love Story' (1970)
Love Storymay indeed be a story about love, but it’s a sad one. It doesn’t keep this a secret from its audience, given the film’s opening lines narrated by the male lead include himfamously saying: “What can you say about a 25-year-old girl who died?”
It’s otherwise a sentimental and quite romantic movie. It would qualify for a safe date movie, but the threat of one character dying tragically young (intentionally) hangs over the entire film. If a couple doesn’t mind watching something romantic and sad,Love Storymight work as a date movie, but otherwise, it might be better to pick something a little more upbeat.
