Raiders of the Lost Arkwas a shot across the bough in 1981, grossing a stupendous amount of money and pleasing critics. The success ofIndiana Jonesredefined the adventure genre. In particular,the franchise’s quirky combinationof action, exotic locations, and charismatic heroes inspired generations of filmmakers. However, not every attempt to replicate its magic has struck gold. While some imitators manage to channel the spirit ofRaiderswith a fresh spin, most fall flat, winding up as nothing but tedious copycats.
Indeed,there are a shocking number ofIndiana Jonesripoffs out there, ranging from the ‘so bad it’s good’ to the outright abysmal. This list considers some of the worst offenders; movies that sought to ride the coattails ofIndiana Jonesbut ended up stumbling into the quicksand of mediocrity.
10’The Librarian: Quest for the Spear’ (2004)
Directed by Peter Winther
“You’re the protector of all mankind’s greatest secrets… and this is your first day on the job?”A brazenIndiana Jonesripoff, this TV movie centers on Flynn Carsen (Noah Wyle), a brilliant but socially awkward academic who lands a job as the librarian of a secret organization safeguarding humanity’s greatest treasures. When part of the mystical Spear of Destiny is stolen, Flynn is thrust into a quest to recover it, traveling across the globe and facing ancient traps and dangerous villains.
The resulting film is low-budget and cheesy, but still fairly fun in a goofy way. That said,the script is the definition of derivative, recycling most of its ideas. The dialogue is likewise clichéd almost to the point of parody, and the characters are all one-note. Finally, the action sequences are mostly lackluster and forgettable. What might save the movie in the end is the fact that its affection forIndiana Jonesappears to be genuine.
The Librarian: Quest for the Spear
Flynn Carsen, a brilliant but socially awkward academic, is thrust into an unexpected adventure when he becomes The Librarian, the guardian of a vast collection of historical and magical artifacts. His inaugural task is to track down the stolen Spear of Destiny, which grants its wielder extraordinary power. With the assistance of Nicole Noone, a skilled operative, Flynn embarks on a perilous journey that spans continents, encountering ancient mysteries and deadly adversaries. As Flynn navigates through treacherous terrains and uncovers hidden secrets, he evolves from a bookish scholar into a daring hero, determined to prevent the Spear from falling into the wrong hands.
9’Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' (2008)
Directed by Steven Spielberg
“I think we’ve reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.” It may seem a little harsh, butIndiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulldeserves a place on this list despite being an actualIndiana Jonesmovie.Although not terrible, it was still a major disappointment compared to the classics that preceded it. The story sees Indy racing against the enigmatic Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), while reuniting with his former flame (Karen Allen) and meeting his rebellious son Mutt (Shia LaBeouf).
The problem is that this movie is self-conscious, straining to recreate the fun of the earlier films rather than simplybeing. The film attempts to balance nostalgia with a new era of sci-fi-inspired adventure, but it’s undermined by an uneven tone and the questionable inclusion of aliens. The rest of the movie exudes desperation, with the cast and crew seemingly aware thatCrystal Skullwas falling short.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.
8’Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny' (2023)
Directed by James Mangold
“Sometimes the past is better left buried.” Much of the criticism ofCrystal Skullcan also be leveled against last year’s installment,Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.It seeks to give the iconic character a fitting send-off, but it winds up being a pretty bland retread (though not without its moments). Plot-wise, it’s about Indy and his goddaughter Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) racing against Nazi scientist Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) to retrieve a mythical device said to manipulate time.
The movie is very muchsteeped in nostalgia, but this constant backward focus and self-mythologization gets a little boring. The story is formulaic;the film never really makes its own mark. Plus, the movie fails to make full use of its charismatic stars. Ford is mostly just grumpy, while Waller-Bridge’s ferocious comedy talents are rarely given a chance to shine through. While there are flashes of creativity and energy,Dial of Destinyultimately feels like a waste of potential.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Archaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary artifact that can change the course of history.
7’King Solomon’s Mines' (1985)
Directed by J. Lee Thompson
“I can’t believe we’re risking our lives for this!“King Solomon’s Minesfollows Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain), a roguish adventurer hired by Jessie Huston (Sharon Stone) to locate her missing father, who disappeared while searching for King Solomon’' legendary treasure. The journey takes them through dangerous terrain, where they encounter hostile tribes, a sadistic German colonel, and booby-trapped temples.
While the source material byH. Rider HaggardpredatesIndiana Jones,this adaptation blatantly mimics the style and tone of Spielberg’s classics, often to laughable results. Much of this is intentional, with the movie aiming to be a semi-parody. Still, it mostly doesn’t work. The over-the-top action sequences, including a ridiculous minecart chase, feel more cartoonish than thrilling. The movie isn’t suspenseful enough to succeed as an adventure or funny enough to succeed as a comedy. The finished product falls between two stools, and isn’t really worth watching.
King Solomon’s Mines
6’Curse of Snakes Valley' (1988)
Directed by Marek Piestrak
“This place gives me the creeps.” In this Polish film, two treasure hunters - one a professor (Krzysztof Kolberger) who studies ancient manuscripts, the other a military pilot (Roman Wilhelmi) - journey into the South American jungle to retrieve a fabled artifact believed to be guarded by a supernatural curse. It’s a blatant attempt to emulate the mystery and tension ofIndiana Jones, but the clunky dialogue and meandering plot leave it struggling to find its footing.
While the jungle setting offers some visual intrigue, the pacing is sluggish, and the characters fail to generate much sympathy or interest.Many of the issues stem from the weak performances, with the actors delivering their wooden lines with a complete lack of sincerity. The flimsy special effects don’t help either. Nevertheless,Curse of Snakes Valleywas a great success in its home country, supposedlysellingabout 25 million tickets in the Soviet Union.
5’Bloodstone' (1988)
Directed by Dwight H. Little
“The Bloodstone… it’s real!“Bloodstonecenters on newlyweds Sandy (Brett Stimely) and Stephanie (Anna Nicholas), who find themselves drawn into a dangerous treasure hunt for a mythical ruby in India. They join forces with Shyam Sabu (Rajinikanth), a local detective, to evade criminals and recover the priceless artifact. The plot is a Frankenstein’s monster of ideas fromIndiana Jones,Romancing the Stone, andOctopussy, but withoutthe charm or polishof those films.
The lead actors are solid (particularly Rajinikanth, who is a major star in India) butthe generic script gives them little to work with.Moments of enjoyment do exist here, but they tend to be overshadowed by unintentional humor and occasional awkwardness. The dialogue often veers into cringe-worthy territory. Similarly, the action sequences, though ambitious, are rough around the edges (reflecting the relatively small $1.5m budget). Basically, there isn’t much to set Bloodstone apart from this cluttered subgenre, meaning that it can be safely skipped.
4’Invaders of the Lost Gold' (1982)
Directed by Alan Birkinshaw
“We must cross rivers, we must climb mountains. Must we listen to this, too?” The shamelessly titledInvaders of the Lost Goldfollows a group of treasure hunters searching for a hidden cache of gold lost during World War II in the dense jungles of the Philippines. The plot hinges on betrayals and jungle perils, but these elements fail to create genuine tension or excitement, instead coming across as predictable, even lifeless.
Predictably,the film tries to make up for its narrative shortcomings with trashiness and gimmicks, including nudity. It’s the kind of stuff one would expect from the dregs of the direct-to-video set, yet there are actually some decent actors here, like Oscar-nomineeStuart Whitman,Harold Sakata(Oddjob fromGoldfinger), andSpartacus’sWoody Strode. How they got roped into this mess is anyone’s guess, and their talents are not enough to save it.
Invaders of the Lost Gold
3’Scarab' (1983)
Directed by Steven-Charles Jaffe
“This belongs in a museum.” InScarab, an archaeologist uncovers an ancient Egyptian artifact imbued with dark powers, unleashing a curse that threatens all who come into contact with it. What begins as a promising mystery devolves into a series of poorly connected scenes, with characters making baffling decisions and the stakes feeling increasingly inconsequential. It’s likeIndiana JonesmeetsThe Mummy, but bad.
DirectorSteven-Charles Jaffestruggles to balance the film’s competing tones, andthe end result is an uneven mess.The supernatural elements, while intriguing in concept, are undercut by laughable special effects and an overreliance on exposition. These ideas - ancient gods, mysterious artifacts, exotic settings - are cool on paper but wind up being boring on screen thanks to clumsy storytelling. Once again, unnecessary brutality and nudity are thrown in as a last-ditch attempt to hold the viewer’s attention. Consequently,Scarabnever rises above its B-movie origins.
2’Diamonds of Kilimandjaro' (1983)
Directed by Jesús Franco
“We’re rich beyond our wildest dreams!“Diamonds of Kilimandjarofollows a group of explorers searching for - what else? - a hidden diamond treasure deep in the African wilderness. The plot is a hodgepodge of adventure tropes, complete with dangerous animals, rival treasure hunters, and a mysterious jungle tribe. The low production values and incoherent storytelling turn what could have been an engaging adventure into pure tedium.
This very much feels like a cheap attempt to jump on the success ofRaiders of the Lost Ark, which had come out two years earlier. The sets are laughably unconvincing, the acting borders on parody, and the editing is so choppy that it only adds to the confusion. With no compelling story, minimal effort to shock or titillate (the violence is thoroughly lame), and an absent sense of fun,Diamonds of Kilimandjarois a misfire on almost every level.
1’Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls' (2008)
Directed by Mark Atkins
“Trust me, I’ve done this before.” Claiming the top spot on this list isAllan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls, whose title is strikingly egregious.Sean Cameron Michaelstars as the title character, tasked with leading a group of explorers to a fabled temple while facing treacherous landscapes, deadly traps, and a slew of stock villains.It adds up to dollar-store Indy, utterly hollow and unimaginative.
The whole movie feels hastily thrown together, with the story culminating in loose ends and subplots that go nowhere. As for the performances, they range from stiff and lifeless to wildly over-the-top, neither endearing nor convincing. While the flaws are myriad, they also makeTemple of Skullssomething of a ‘so bad it’s good’ viewing experience.Indiana Jonesfans may have fun hate-watching it. Plus, the South African backdrop is frequently beautiful, offering at least something of a silver lining.
Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls
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