Arrested Developmentdoesn’t need much of an introduction, but it could help to read the following (obvious) information inRon Howard’s voice, given he was the narrator of all five seasons. It was an acclaimed sitcom about the largely selfish members of a wealthy family after their patriarch lands in hot water (not of the ham variety) legally speaking. Chaos, misunderstandings, slapstick, wordplay, and non-stop witty dialogue ensue.
It’s the dialogue that’s going to be most focused on here, because, at its best,Arrested Developmenthad its cast deliver pitch-perfect one-liners at a scarily rapid rate. The sitcom wasan absolute treasure trove for memorable dialogue, especially during its first three masterful seasons. Though there are some notable omissions, the following is an attempt to highlight the cream of the crop, as far as greatArrested Developmentone-liners go.
Arrested Development
Level-headed son Michael Bluth takes over family affairs after his father is imprisoned. But the rest of his spoiled, dysfunctional family is making his job unbearable.
10“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
It’s worth highlighting at least one recurring piece of dialogue, heard throughoutnumerous seasons ofArrested Development, and something that’s basically Gob’s catchphrase. Cursed with a supreme amount of confidence in his abilities, but lacking very many actual abilities, Gob does indeed make more huge mistakes than most other characters in the show, perhaps only rivaled by his similarly idiotic brother-in-law, Tobias.
But, unlike some other members of the Bluth family, Gob has some degree of self-awareness, at least when his zany schemes go wrong, admitting (usually to himself) when he’s made a mistake, huge or otherwise.It’s infectious, too, because the catchphrase has also been used by a few other Bluths at key moments.Though, as demonstrated here, no one makes quite as many huge mistakes as Gob.
9“Michael, if this is a lecture on how we’re all supposed to whatever and blah-blah-blah, well, you can save it, because we all know it by heart.”
Surprisinglyadopted into the Bluth family, Lindsay nonetheless fits right into this heavily dysfunctional and tenuously wealthy clan. She’s probably the most cutthroat of the children, exhibiting more self-centeredness than the likes of Michael, Gob, and Buster, but she pales in comparison to her mother, Lucille. Still, when she does claim to care about something, it’s all a show, and a not-very-convincing one, more often than not.
So, when Michael, who sometimes (and more often early on inArrested Development’s run) tries to moralize at one point, Lindsay is having none of it. She claims to know his recurring lectures off by heart, but then goes allSeinfeldby giving them the “yada yada yada” treatment, in effect, whichgoes a long way to explaining why she never really finds herself able to changefor the better.
8“I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? 10 dollars?”
Speaking ofselfish Bluth family members, no one exhibits that particular trait more than Lucille, but she does so to such a comical extent that you kind of can’t help but love her. This sets her apart, to some extent, from other infamouslyvillainous family matriarchs in other shows, because it’s easier to find people who truly resent say Livia Soprano fromThe Sopranos, or Cersei Lannister fromGame of Thrones.
Lucille isn’t as dangerous, but she’s just as brutal, in some ways. But she’s absolutely one of the show’s best characters, and might well be the most consistently funny (or, at the very least, she gives the GOAT, Gob, a run for his money). Andher incorrect assumption about the price of a banana is one of her most memorable moments. Then again, withthe way inflation is going in recent times, maybe this joke will lose its capacity to be funny sooner rather than later…
7“Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.”
When talking about this quote purely through text, some explanation is needed, because it reads alarmingly. That’s part of the joke, though. Tobias has no idea he says some really alarming things of a sexual nature constantly, to the point where heflaunts his status as an analyst and a therapist by claiming he’s an analrapist, but he doesn’t pronounce it in a way that sounds offensive.
On his business card, and in this article, though, it reads very differently. This is the main jokeattached to Tobias, and it works every time. From his wild accidental sexual innuendos to his number plate made to commemorate the new start he’s made in life (woefully written as “ANUSTART;”one of the best post-season 3 jokes), Tobias is a hilariously inept accidental creep, and probably the funniest character who’s not a Bluth (given he married into the family via Lindsay).
6“Daddy horny, Michael.”
George Bluth Sr.
Onehalf of a pair of twins(and the one most commonly seen on the show), George Bluth Sr. gets in trouble early on during Arrested Development’s run, with the fallout of his misdeeds kicking everything into high gear. Fittingly, then, he’s locked up for a considerable portion of the show: namely, the first season, which sees many of his scenes involving characters visiting him in prison.
The situation theredoesn’t allow for any touching, buthe still manages to impart wisdom to his kids, including the surprisingly literal claim that“There’s always money in the banana stand.”But the funniest George Bluth Sr. quote might well be his declaration, to his son, that “Daddy horny,” right out of the blue and hilariously awkward. The absurdity is funny, but the delivery byJeffrey Tamboris what sells it even more.
5“Take a look at banner, Michael!”
Another memorable quote directed at Michael, showing once more how he was often there as the “straight man” type character; funniest because he was kind of sane, comparatively speaking, and becauseJason Bateman’s reactions were usually priceless. Anyway,this one involves a banner, and Gob expressing delight over it, with the delivery by Will Arnett really selling it, alongside the grammatical wonkiness of it all.
Seriously, if you use Grammarly, it won’t like you typing “Take a look at banner, Michael,” and will suggest adding a “the” before “banner.” And, yes, that’s technically the more correct way to say it, but that’s not as funny, Grammarly. You are good for basic spell-checking, but you do not understand humor the way theArrested Developmentwriters do. Oh, and the banner itself is also key to the joke being funny, considering it also reads grammatically wonky,expressing “Family love Michael.”
4“Sister’s my new mother, Mother. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter too?”
Before becoming one ofthe funniest parts ofVeep,Tony Halewas also a consistently hilarious part ofArrested Development, playing the perpetual mother’s boy Buster Bluth, and having a comparable amount of luck to the sorts ofdowntrodden charactersBuster Keatonused to play. Like Tobias and his sexual innuendos, a common joke associated with Buster was his attachment to his mother, Lucille, making light of the very strange tension between the pair.
Anyway, at one point during season 3, Buster starts connecting more than ever with Lindsay, suggesting that she might well be his new mother, owing to the bond between the two. It could almost be heartwarming, if a little weird, butthe weirdness is kicked into overdrive by him suggesting that she’s “looking hotter too,”with the Bluths once more giving the Lannisters a run for their money as TV’s most incestuous family.
3“Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.”
Another Tobias quote worthy of mentioning here is one that, instead of being deeply/accidentally sexual, more so reveals how terrible his marriage with Lindsay is. Sure, Tobias’s potential sexuality is a likely factor in why the twonever really clicked the way couples should, but Tobias seems adamant that at least some of it can be blamed, somehow, on 9/11.
Not all of it, as Tobias is keen to clarify to Michael, but the 2001 attacks on New York City’s World Trade Center certainly “didn’t help,” whatever that means. It’s such a wild and ridiculously delivered line that, once heard, proves pretty much impossible to forget. It is essential Tobias in every sense:far-fetched, unknowingly offensive, bizarre, and highly quotable as a glorious mess of words.
2“Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money… or candy!”
When you watch the pilot episode ofArrested Developmentfor the first time, it’s almost overwhelming, with the uniquely speedy pace of the show hitting you like a train. But it’s also clearly funny enough that most will find themselves keen to keep pace, and by watching a few more episodes, it gets easier to adjust to the rhythm ofArrested Developmentas a whole.
As such,returning to the pilot is a rewarding experience, allowing one to revel in everything that works and understand all the humor to an even greater extent. Gob, for example, is fully formed and instantly hilarious.His most memorable line in this episode works asoriginally intended, and as it was edited, with the character clarifying to kids about whores doing tricks for “cocaine” or “candy” being equally funny, but for different reasons.
1“If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.”
If you hear a veiled criticism abouta sitcom as good asArrested Development, you probably shouldn’t hear it, nor should you respond to it. That’s what Lucille would do, at least, were she not a character on the show and instead a fan of it. Instead, given her status as a fictional character, she’d rather dismiss critiques of herself in such a way.
It’s pure Lucille in every sense, summing up the character’s inherent confidence in herself and unwavering dismissal of everyone else who has anything even remotely negative to say about her. Of course, for as funny as the line is on its own, it’s alsoJessica Walterdelivering it like an absolute pro that makes it soar. Walter was oftentimes the funniest cast member on the show, and, as Lucille, this might well be the greatest line she ever delivered.
